Some just escaping boring Surban life, others escaping our own demons, some wanting to escape our relationships, some just finding a way to express our selves with music since we grew up being told from friends, family, and society how weak or (gay) no offense… We were taught men or boys were not too talk about our feelings…
As a girl…. I know I am not a boy…. But I guess having two really abusive relationships where I could not have friends, because they were (hoes) , I wasn’t aloud family ( turned us against one another) so I isolated and started becoming some of the boys, unintentionally of course. Also I wanted to hang out with my brother any chance I got…. Why? Cause I loved him that was my brother I could act like one of the guys around him, and act feminine with My youngest sister. I thought we just had a cool way of Vibing without words and became almost my only escape from abuse, drug trafficking bs with my daughters father, drug abuse, sex trafficking (myself) sometimes as a way to buy what I wanted and needed, sometimes forced by my daughters father. Mostly forced because he was very materialistic and greedy.
Anytime him or his people got involved in our secret bond…. He was always there to take everything from me. Including my only child. We always remained very close, and until he turnt us against each other and my life and her life and everything we myself and my daughter, was stolen from us. I only wanted a way to leave behind songs and a memorial sort of site so she could see how much I missed and loved her. I have ill feelings I really do, but I don’t can’t blame him for his actions
Autistic and unempathetic way of abuse and manipulation… Product of family secrets and resentmemt he unintentionally turned from the bullied and abused into the psycho.
MEAZYMUSICMANIAC 